He who binds to himswlf a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sun rise. - William Blake, Eternity

I learned everything I need to know about what it is like to be ninety from Margaret. Some of it I look forward to and some of it not so much. If I am blessed to get to ninety, I know I will never forget who I learned it from.

It was a privilege to watch her face as she said something really really funny without cracking a smile. There were many days when I visited that she wasn't feeling well enough to eat or get out of bed but on the days when she did feel well enough to get up, she was dressed to the nines. I loved to see the clothing she selected to wear on those days, her accessories of scarves and jewelry with matching dangling earrings, but most of all her lipstick. She always had her lipstick!

It was a privilege to witness her receive communion from Beth that last time. She could barely talk to us but was able to say the Our Father without stumbling.

It was a privilege to Eat, Pray, Love with her.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake (and Margaret did a little gentle smacking...THANK YOU MARGARET)

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Margaret asked me if she could fix me up on a date with one of her friends that worked there at her residence, can you imagine at ninety she's still trying to play match maker. In case your wondering I told her I wasn't interested. Not so sure that it stopped her from trying anyway.

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."

Elizabeth Gilbert Eat, Pray, Love

Margaret taught me that while my heart may be broken, it was still working good enough to love.

I felt loved!

Dear Marge, Thank you for allowing me to be part of your family these last 11 years of your life. We had many laughs and your advice on how to make the best of life will always stay with me.. You certainly taught by example having raised seven children and brothers too and doing the best job you could do. Your family was the most important part of your life and you yearned to have them in your company often. When you were not doing well towards the end and you were visited by some family members and me, you remarked to me, 'This is what I needed to feel better, my family around me". I am honored that you gave me the title of "adopted daughter" and embraced me as one of yours. Thanks Marge, you will always be in my prayers.

Our greatest fear is that when we die we will become nothing. Many of us believe that our entire existence is only a life span beginning the moment we are born or conceived and ending the moment we die. We believe that we are born from nothing and when we die we become nothing. And so we are filled with fear of annihilation.

The same thing happens when we lost any of our beloved ones. When conditions are not right to support life, they withdraw. When I lost my mother I suffered a lot. When we are only seven or eight years old it is difficult to think that one day we will lose our mother. Eventually we grow up and we all lose our mothers, but if you know how to practice, when the time comes for the separation you will not suffer too much. You will very quickly realize that your mother is always alive within you.

The day my mother died, I wrote in my journal, "A serious misfortune of my life has arrived." I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, in the highlands of Vietnam, I was sleeping in the hut in my hermitage. I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died. When I woke up it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive in me.

I opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants, and my hut was set behind the temple halfway up. Walking slowly in the moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very tenderly, very sweet... wonderful! Each time my feet touched the earth I knew my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine along but a living continuation of my mother and father and my grandparents and great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. These feet that I saw as "my" feet were actually "our" feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil.

From that moment on the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time. Do walking meditation. Pay attention to all the leaves, the flowers, the birds and the dewdrops. If you can stop and look deeply, you will be able to recognize your beloved one manifesting again and again in different forms. You will again embrace the joy of life.

We have had so many wonderful happy laughing memories! On Halloween we went around and handed out candy to

All the residents! We laughed and mentioned that my brother Tommy was born on that day! Mom always enjoyed Halloween and we tried to keep this holiday for her. Now we will have to keep the memory going each time Halloween rolls around!!

I will miss my friend Margaret very much. She taught me patience and shared many lovely stories.