Food for Thought – Reflections about my Father
To say that my Dad loved a good meal and a stiff drink is probably an understatement. Many of us cannot remember what we had for dinner last night or what we ordered the last time we went out to eat. Dad could remember the most excruciating details about a meal, even months or years later. Not just where he ate and who he shared the meal with, but also what he ate. But Dad’s enjoyment of food and drink was not self-indulgent. His greatest enjoyment in life came from spending time with family, friends, or even a complete stranger at a hotel restaurant or bar while he was traveling for work.
I remember Dad as being a fun person that liked to have a good time and enjoy life. He enjoyed going to parties, playing cards, watching old movies, playing miniature golf, listening to Elvis and playing chess. Tennis was also a passion of Dad’s in the early years. Dad formed friendships on the high school tennis team and then later met the love of his life on a tennis court in his early twenties. He spent the next fifty-five years of his life devoted to his wife Pat and to his four children Ann, Nancy, Chris and Greg. He loved us all and gave his time to us whenever he could. Dad would often drop whatever he was doing to play with us. I still remember how he’d hop off his tractor in the middle of cutting the grass to play baseball or shoot baskets with us. Likewise, he’d drop any project he was doing at our summer place in Beach Haven West to swim with us in the lagoon or to crab with us. He truly enjoyed his children and spending time with us was important to him. I will always cherish the times I spent playing with him while growing up.
Much like many of us, Dad’s life was not full of rainbows and unicorns. He experienced many hardships throughout the years, but met each challenge with grace, dignity and a positive outlook. When he was five years old, Dad had a baby brother who only lived a short time after his birth. His little brother missed out on having a great life with a very loving older brother. Then, during basic training in the Army Reserves, a gun was fired too close to Dad’s head and it resulted in significant, permanent hearing loss for the next sixty years of his life. What was saddest about this disability was that it prevented him from being able to fully engage with those he shared time with. When family or friends were in groups, he’d struggle to keep up with the conversation and missed out on quite a lot. However, Dad never once complained about any of his circumstances. Even while suffering from prostate cancer, Dad never once complained….he would just say, “It is what it is”. He recognized that there were others that were always worse off than he was and that he was blessed by God with what he had.
Dad was a positive, optimistic man who always encouraged us to do our best and to do what we love. Both he and Mom would say that “As long as you’re happy and doing what you love, it doesn’t matter what you do as a profession.” I tested that philosophy upon graduating from law school when I informed my parents that I wanted to be a restaurant manager, rather than practicing law. Dad never wavered from his principles and let me know that if it made me happy, then I should pursue it.
I am so appreciative of all that Dad did for me and the time he spent with me. However, more than anything else, the thing I am most grateful for is the gift of faith that I received from Dad. Dad’s favorite singer was Elvis who is often called “The King”, but he taught us that we should always follow the one true king, Jesus Christ. Dad was a devout Catholic who attended daily mass whenever possible and I remember him praying the rosary frequently. We never missed mass on Sundays or Holy Days, even when traveling out of town on vacation. After the birth of my sons, my whole family would descend upon our home in North Carolina to celebrate their Baptisms and First Communions. I feel so fortunate to now be able to share this same faith with my family in the example set by my father.
I have absolutely no doubt that my Dad now sits at the Lord’s banquet table and is enjoying the tremendous bounty that God provides, with his Mom, Dad, baby brother, all his family and friends that preceded him in death, and his favorite singer Elvis. I look forward to sitting at that table with him in the future, where I’m sure he’ll provide great detail of every meal he’s eaten before I arrived:)
Cheers Dad!
Love,
Your Son, Chris
